What We Bring to Love
This week’s quote is about love. It’s about how we look to receive love from the person we are in a realtionship with, when actually, you bring the love with you. You get what you give, right? If we try our hardest to understand what the other person needs, and focus on giving that, we are both happy. Of course, not all the time, It’s not always balanced, but over the long haul of a marriage, I think it tends to balance out. If you also bring with you, into the relationship, a strong sense of self and purpose. If you don’t know who you are, people will walk all over you. Not knowing who you are confuses the other person. It makes it harder to communicate, to give love and to receive love. Knowing who you are and being willing to see and accept the other person as who they are might be the keys to happiness. When I realized I was in love with Bert, I had a serious conversation with myself. Can I live with a comic? Can I live with a slob? Can I really hear “Have you seen my keys?” , “Where’s my wallet?”, “I can’t find my Rogaine!”, ‘LEEANNNNN!!!!!” for the rest of my life. I decided I could, and I also decided that if I said yes to this relationship, I could not, down the road, say no to these parts of Bert. The neurosis, the neediness, the hypochondriac was a package deal with a generous, kind, loving, lovable, highly creative and very very fun person. What you focus on grows. I choose to focus on the good. It doesn’t always work, sometimes I get really frustrated with those habits and parts of his disposition that I don’t understand. I get pissed that I trip over his size 13 shoes, that his side of the bathroom vanity is taking over mine, and that I still find used Q-tips on top of my door jambs (because he thinks that’s funny). But what is the alternative? To find someone that perfectly aligns with all my beliefs and habits? How can I learn from that? Bert and I share the same purpose, to be happy. To be drama free in our relationship. To be HONEST. To have a strong sense of self and purpose, and to bring love with us. Did you bring love with you into your relationship? If not, how can you change that today? How can you bring more love into all your relationships? With your kids, your boss, your in-laws, your neighbors, the “other” political party? If our intention can shift toward asking the question “what would make YOU happy,” maybe we can love each other better.